Most memorial services, funerals, and Celebration of Life services are very similar in structure. By being aware of the basic outline ahead of time, you can be prepared when you need to meet with a pastor or officiant to plan a memorial service. Listed below are the commonly included parts of the service:
Prelude: The music before a service begins
The Gathering: typically a memorial service begins with a welcome to the guests, and, for a spiritual service, an opening prayer.
A Song: This can be done in this position or before the welcome. The advantage to having it in this position is that, when music is used for the prelude, guests may not realize the service is beginning. If you want a hymn where attendees participate, this is the perfect place for Amazing Grace.
A Reading: This can be one or more Scripture passages, a favorite poem or other meaningful reading.
Eulogy: A retelling of the important facts, favorite stories and traits of a person's life (an expanded version of an obituary). This is most often conveyed by a member of the family. Sometimes a video montage is included at this point with family photos and favorite music on DVD.
Sharing: A time when other family and friends are invited to offer favorite memories. Recommendation: Have one or two people who are prepared to share a fun memory to get the sharing started. Keep sharing to two to three people if it is extended, otherwise you can allow five to six remembrances if they are short (depending on your time schedule). When there are people who have not gotten a chance to communicate their memories and you need to close, invite them to follow-up with the family at the reception or in the days and weeks to come when the family will be missing their loved one.
Optional Song: After the sharing is a difficult time for attendees to sing, so this is the perfect place for a solo or a favorite song on CD. Some ideas are: "Wind Beneath My Wings," "In the Garden," "My Heart Will Go On," "I Can Only Imagine," "Precious Lord, Take My Hand," etc. Realize that a CD can not minister to the family in the same way a person can, but a poor soloist is not a good option either.
Message, Homily (a short sermon), or Sermon: This is the officiant's message. It is usually of a comforting, spiritual nature.
Prayers: Officiant says prayers for the family. Prayer usually ends with "The Lord's Prayer" recited by all attendees, or the common prayer of the family's religion.
Commendation: The officiant commends the deceased to God's care in a final prayer.
Closing Song: This is an excellent place for an uplifting or triumphant hymn or song, like "How Great Thou Art." It is also a good place if you are doing congregational singing. The congregation can participate and uphold the family on their way.
Having this information will help you be prepared, when you meet with the officiant or pastor, to prepare your family's memorial or Celebration of Life service.
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